Crazy Cow Country Farm

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Here comes the sun, little darling

May 22nd, 2010 · 3 Comments · Uncategorized

I tell you what, between quitting smoking, the hormones, and the boys’ last day of school, it’s been an emotional roller coaster here on the farm.  Over all, I think it’s going well and seems to be improving daily.

I hope.

Yesterday completed the first four weeks of hormones and I’ve got to tell you, I’m SO VERY thankful I took that step!  I think it’s been an adjustment, to say the least, because adding hormones to my body after not having them for so long was akin to a hormone crazed teenager (and no, not in a *good* way LOL) running around here.  The concept of having normal  everyday feelings had been lost on me for so long that I didn’t always handle it the best when it happened again.  OK, I sucked.  But it’s leveled off and I’ve checked myself several times a day since I realized it was happening, hopefully this part will improve.

So after four weeks I can tell you this – I feel fantastic!  I am sleeping that good, restful and refreshing sleep which leaves me waking up bright eyed and busy-tailed in the morning.  It’s wonderful to actually *feel* well rested!  I have energy again, not to the extent that I know exercising will bring, but I have good energy and motivation to get through the day.  I have no more of the brain fog which means I can focus, plan, work, and enjoy my family again.  Overall I am forever grateful to have found a compounding pharmacy and so pleased to have found bio-identical hormones.  If you have any signs of menopause, please at least look into bio-identicals!

The smoking.  Ugh.  It’s been 7 days, 22 hrs, and 46 minutes.  How long before I stop counting?  Hopefully soon.  Since money is a great motivation, I’ve written on the calendar what we have saved and already it’s $80.  So when I find myself having a really hard moment I stand in the kitchen looking at the money saved and then take a long look at the new car that savings will pay for.

It’s still SO HARD!  Good gravy why on earth is this so hard.  I nearly caved the other night but thankfully Ed didn’t say the magic word and I held strong.  I’m hoping and waiting anxiously for the day when it will at least be relegated to a niggling thought rather than a burning desire.  Soon, I hope.

Above all of that is the sun.  We have flooded pastures, flooded driveways, and mud-covered horses but we also finally have temps in the 80’s and bright sunshine.  I believe summer is finally here.

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