I tell you what, between quitting smoking, the hormones, and the boys’ last day of school, it’s been an emotional roller coaster here on the farm. Over all, I think it’s going well and seems to be improving daily.
I hope.
Yesterday completed the first four weeks of hormones and I’ve got to tell you, I’m SO VERY thankful I took that step! I think it’s been an adjustment, to say the least, because adding hormones to my body after not having them for so long was akin to a hormone crazed teenager (and no, not in a *good* way LOL) running around here. The concept of having normal everyday feelings had been lost on me for so long that I didn’t always handle it the best when it happened again. OK, I sucked. But it’s leveled off and I’ve checked myself several times a day since I realized it was happening, hopefully this part will improve.
So after four weeks I can tell you this – I feel fantastic! I am sleeping that good, restful and refreshing sleep which leaves me waking up bright eyed and busy-tailed in the morning. It’s wonderful to actually *feel* well rested! I have energy again, not to the extent that I know exercising will bring, but I have good energy and motivation to get through the day. I have no more of the brain fog which means I can focus, plan, work, and enjoy my family again. Overall I am forever grateful to have found a compounding pharmacy and so pleased to have found bio-identical hormones. If you have any signs of menopause, please at least look into bio-identicals!
The smoking. Ugh. It’s been 7 days, 22 hrs, and 46 minutes. How long before I stop counting? Hopefully soon. Since money is a great motivation, I’ve written on the calendar what we have saved and already it’s $80. So when I find myself having a really hard moment I stand in the kitchen looking at the money saved and then take a long look at the new car that savings will pay for.
It’s still SO HARD! Good gravy why on earth is this so hard. I nearly caved the other night but thankfully Ed didn’t say the magic word and I held strong. I’m hoping and waiting anxiously for the day when it will at least be relegated to a niggling thought rather than a burning desire. Soon, I hope.
Above all of that is the sun. We have flooded pastures, flooded driveways, and mud-covered horses but we also finally have temps in the 80’s and bright sunshine. I believe summer is finally here.
